


This Is Only The Beginning

by 4StarsOnOurShirts



Category: Women's Soccer RPF
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-02-03
Updated: 2020-10-11
Packaged: 2021-02-27 20:33:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 16,394
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22541803
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/4StarsOnOurShirts/pseuds/4StarsOnOurShirts
Summary: After attending the wedding of close friends/teammates Ali and Ashlyn, Christen and Tobin crash at a hotel in Miami. In the early hours of the next morning Tobin has to grapple with where her relationship with Christen is going, and she ends up coming to a big realization.
Relationships: Tobin Heath/Christen Press
Comments: 50
Kudos: 297





	1. Wake Up

Tobin's Pov

I woke up in the middle of the night in a cold sweat. As I sat up and reached for the nearest clothes of mine I tried to be as quiet as possible. Thank goodness my careful movements hadn’t seemed to disrupt her peaceful sleep. It was 5:00 in the morning and our flight wasn’t until noon. We were in no rush today. I tiptoed to the hotel bathroom, and tried to calm my racing thoughts. These thoughts were amplified because of the wonderful wedding we got to attend yesterday to celebrate our long time teammates. Just hours ago we had watched both of them promise themselves to each other. They were so proud, and so fearless. But most importantly they were free. I used to define myself first and foremost as a free spirit. But lately the walls have been closing in on me because at one time I felt too petrified to even imagine myself doing what Ali and Ashlyn had done in front of all their closest friends and family. I am so used to having to live in secret. I have to feel this shame that I thought I had overcome long ago. But how can I be myself when I have to pull away from the woman that has become my everything? How can I deny someone that is a part of me? It destroys me everyday that I have to modify my behavior and only feel completely at ease during a small percentage of my life. I know it hurts Christen more. We are private people, but she has had to lie, and deny what we are to each other so many times that I cannot bear it any longer. She deserves better. We deserve better. I don’t want to live in this limbo for one more day. I quickly splashed some cold water in my face before using my sweatshirt sleeves to dry my face off. I walked back into the bedroom, and grabbed my phone from the nightstand so that I could use the illumination to go through my suitcase until I found the pair of white and black air jordans that I was looking for. I picked up the right shoe and took out the sock I had stuffed into it. I slowly unraveled the sock and found the small box I had hidden there. I smiled running my hands over it. I stood up gripping it in my hand tightly. I took a step backwards, and stumbled over my discarded left shoe, right into the nightstand. My left elbow smacked into it, and I groaned at the sudden pain.

“Tobin,” Christen said suddenly bolting up at the noise.  
“It’s ok, I’m fine,” I said walking around the bed to her side.  
“What happened?” She asked rubbing her eyes.  
“I was just trying to go to the bathroom.”  
“Sweetheart what’s in your hand?” She asked curious, looking me over.

My hand flew behind my back hiding it.

“What’s wrong?” She asked concerned.  
“I’m sorry, this isn’t…this is not what I was planning…” I stammered.  
“Tobin you're making me nervous.”  
“Don’t be,” I pleaded stuffing the box into my sweatshirt pocket.

I leaned down towards her pulling the bedsheet back up to cover her chest.

“Please don’t be nervous,” I whispered leaning in to kiss her briefly.  
“But you are nervous. You are practically shaking,” she said sitting up and pulling me down to sit on the bed.

The sheet had fallen down again exposing her chest. This was not the time to get distracted. I brushed my thumb over the right side of her face before standing up and walking over to her suitcase.

“Please don’t walk away,” she said softly.

I grabbed the first shirt of hers I saw, a black long sleeve one, and brought it over to her.  
“Are we going somewhere? Did you get a phone call? Is it your family?” She asked becoming more anxious.  
“No, nothing like that. I just have to talk to you, and it would make it easier on me if you had a shirt on.”  
“Ok….um…we have been together for almost five years and you have never asked me to put on more clothes.”  
“Humor me,” I said pushing the shirt into her hands. “And that’s not true. I always give you my hat if you are having a frizzy hair day, my jacket more times than I can count, and when you decide give away your jersey right on the field I make sure to lovingly shield you from the hundreds of cameras. Your comfort is very important to me.”  
“Yes Tobin,” she said pulling the shirt on. “It was a joke,” she added chuckling.

She held her hands out toward me, and invited me to come closer and sit down on the bed. She leaned towards me, “You know that I love all the little things you do for me. I used to feel like all you saw was the soccer ball. When I first joined the team I would find myself always stealing glances at you, and you seemed to be the only one who didn’t notice. I would look at you, and you would look at the ball.”  
“I’m sorry I was so oblivious,” I said ashamed.  
“No, no, your love and passion for the game is so attractive to me. It’s just that when you’re crushing hard on someone you hope that from time to time they might notice you.”  
“I definitely noticed your talent, you could out run everyone else at camp. I just always have been more attracted to a woman’s personality, and I didn’t start crushing on you until we really got to know each other.”  
“At least now I don’t have to worry about a wandering eye when it comes to you. You are still oblivious when it comes to people flirting with you.”  
“I’ve only got eyes for #23,” I said with a grin.  
“And the ball, we can’t forget about that,” she said running her hand down my right arm.  
“Thanks for being willing to share me,” I laughed before placing a soft kiss on her forehead.  
“Just promise me that this conversation we are about to have isn’t bad news?” She asked.  
“You know that I love how your Ivy League brain always wants to be three steps ahead of me, but let me say my peace, before you barrage me with more questions. Before I get into this I have to ask, are you hung over?”  
“No, I was definitely tipsy when we got back to the room, maybe even more than that, but I feel fine. What about you? I’m definitely glad we got that uber to get us back here.”  
“I can feel a migraine coming on but otherwise I’m all good. I just wanted to double check because you kind of passed out on me once we got undressed.”  
“All the dancing and champagne definitely took it out of me,” she said looking down at her twiddling hands, and all the rings that she still had on, one every single finger.  
“Alright so there is a lot I want to say, and I’m going to do my best at getting it all out there. You know better than anyone that expressing my feelings is challenging. And it’s thanks to you that I can even express them to you now. I want to start with our first kiss.” I said taking her left hand into my right one.

Flashback:

“I can’t believe you’re still out here?” I shouted at her while walking out onto the soccer field.  
“I have to get better at my strikes from outside the 18 yard box. The best way I know how to do that is repetition,” Christen said before striking another ball that end up missing wide on the right by about a yard.  
“You are going to end up straining a hamstring or something. We had two practice sessions today. You have probably already taken 200 shots today. That’s enough for today. Everyone else has already gone home. Seriously I’m on a first name basis with the the head groundskeeper and I convinced him to head on home and let me turn the lights out,” I explained dropping my soccer bag on the ground and walking closer to her.  
“Why are you still here?” She asked breathing heavy while she turned to face me with her hands on her hips.  
“I think you know my post practice ritual at this point,” I said before sitting down on the grass.

I continued to make eye contact with her as I pulled off my slides and socks. With my feet now bare I brought my knees up so I could rest my chin on them, and began to wiggle my toes in the blades of grass below my feet.

“And I know you well enough by now to know that that is not the only reason you are here.”  
“I can’t just head back to the hotel while you run yourself into the ground. We have a game in two days, and the Olympics are right around the corner. You shouldn’t-“  
“Shouldn’t what? Try as hard as I can? Make sure I leave no stone unturned in my preparation? I will never have a chance of getting a decent amount of minutes on the field if I can’t prove that I can be faster than Alex, more hard-working than Carli, and even more creative than….” She said as her anger increased.  
“Than me?”  
“I don’t know where that came from. I’m sorry…this stress is getting to me,” she continued trying to smooth down the flyaways in her hair.

I stood up slowly and walked until I was in front of her.

“You can’t let anything take the joy of the game away from you. Not even competition with me,” I said trying not to break out into a grin.  
“There is no one else that can match your creativity with the ball, let alone challenge you. I really didn’t mean to say that earlier. I’m not trying to take minutes away from you.”  
“But you wouldn’t mind you being the starter while Alex subs in sometime after the eightieth minute.”  
“You know how I feel about her.”  
“She doesn’t hate you Chris.”  
“Tell that to her face.”  
“That’s just Alex’s face. One second she looks at you like she could snap you in half, and the next she is smiling so hard I’m afraid her face will permanently freeze that way.”  
“She never looks at you the way she looks at me,” Christen said sadly.  
“Don’t get down on yourself,” I pleaded reaching out to touch her shoulder.  
“Tobin…you have to realize that you are one of the only people on this team that has welcomed me with open arms.”  
“That’s not…this is such a competitive environment for anyone. I didn’t feel like I was truly a part of the team until my third full year.”  
“This is my third year.”  
“You have so many people that support you. The way you talk about your family and friends, I know that you have an incredible system of support to lift you up.”  
“But we travel all the time, I hardly ever get to see them,” she said beginning to get upset.

I pulled her into a loose hug before I could see any tears fall from her eyes. I hated to see her cry. The first time I ever witnessed her cry it was when she was rolling around on the ground in pain after someone side tackled her and injured her knee in a very heated scrimmage. I felt so much anger that it surprised me. I saw my other teammates get hurt all the time, but with her it stirred up a lot of visceral reactions that I didn’t expect. As I brought my arms around her back to gently hold her to me I felt her push her face into the protective space between my neck and collar bone. Her lips brushed against the skin on the side of my neck and my eyes went wide. Was that an accident? She couldn’t have meant to do that. My shock traveled in a wave threw my body. From my shoulder down my arms to the hands that rested on her back. As a reflex my hands gripped her tighter against me. I heard her exhale and hug me in return. It felt like minutes had gone by before I felt her lips again. This time there was no mistaking it for something unintentional. Her lips pushed against my neck briefly as my mind tried to catch up with what was happening. I panicked. I retreated backwards from her warm embrace. I took three full steps away before I allowed myself to look up at her. Her hands were still floating in the air, I deafening reminder to me of how close we had just been.

“Oh no……no, no, no, no,” she whispered bringing her right hand up to touch her lips for a second. “That’s not…it was an accident…” she continued backing away from me.

I could see her face trying to process, and figure out what she was going to do next. Finally her body slumped in defeat, and she said to herself, “I’m so stupid.” She turned away from me and and started to jog over to where her bag was on the bench. Seeing her move so quick caused me to react, and run after her.

“Chris, wait,” I begged following her to the bench.

I stood two feet behind her as she faced away from me and placed her hands on the zipper of her bag.

“Don’t call me that right now,” she whispered so I could barely hear her.  
“I’m so scared,” I said without meaning to.  
“Of me?” She asked confused, while she was still facing away from me.  
“No…maybe. We are…I’m not…”  
“I never wanted to risk my relationship with you, I just couldn’t stop myself this time. And it’s all one big domino shit show. How I feel about you affects me, we’re on this team together, but competing against each other at the same time, and I could still get dropped from the team at any time. A team to which I gave everything so I could get my foot in the door the first time. All this weight feels like it could crush me at any moment,” Christen explained hanging her head, still not willing to turn around.

My left hand reached out for hers. My fingers touched hers lightly.

“I won’t let that happen. I’m so sorry that I panicked. We’ve always been close, but this is not something I thought could ever actually happen. So I really was completely shocked just now. Please understand it was not a rejection,” I said squeezing her fingers.

She finally turned, letting go of my hand.

“You…you weren’t pushing me away?”  
“No, no, it was like my brain stopped working for a minute. I cannot believe this is happening right now,” I admitted nervously pushing my hair behind my ears.  
“You really didn’t even suspect that I might like you?”  
“Christen Press you are a one in a million. I have already been so blessed in my life that how could I be deserving of that?”  
“Because you are…you are one in a million for me. I would never have put myself out there just now if I thought that taking this chance with you wasn’t something I couldn’t live without. You are so extraordinary. And I’m not talking about what kind of player you are. I just want to be around you all the time….am I just further embarrassing myself right now?” She asked with a weak smile at me.  
“I’m just taking this all in. I wish we could have a re-do of that moment. You deserve such a perfect moment.”  
“I’m just so relieved that my worst fears weren’t realized.”  
“It’s just the opposite,” I said bringing her in for a hug.

I hugged her tight. It was me who tucked my face into her neck this time. She giggled at my breath against her skin.

“I’m so sorry for worrying you,” I said softly before pressing my lips against her neck.

She placed her hands on either side of my head and brought my face in front of hers.

“I’m still so scared,” I said with a trembling voice.  
“Me too, but I’m all in with you.”  
“All in. Would it be alright if…I mean I know that it’s not the most spontaneous thing now that we’ve had this long…”  
“Yes, you can kiss me,” she said pulling me closer.

We inched closer, waiting until the last moment to close our eyes. When our lips finally touched it was indescribable. It didn’t matter that it had taken us so long to get to this moment. It didn’t matter that we had stumbled our way through figuring out our feelings. We had made it here, unbelievably, and that was all that mattered.

When our lips separated, Christen held me close and said, “This is only the beginning.”

Present

“That night of our first kiss was one I will never forget. Something that you said then has always resonated with me. You told me that night was only the beginning for us. You had so much confidence in our relationship from the start. I love that about you. It is one of only a thousand things. You encourage me. You challenge me, both in soccer and as a partner to you. You know that I would never have been brave enough to show my art work to anyone if it wasn’t for you. I mean we have our own clothing brand now, how crazy is that?”

“It is like a dream,” she agreed smiling. “Your designs deserve to be seen. You are such a creative and passionate soul.”

“You bring a seriousness to me that I didn’t know that I would ever have. Without you I’d never get anywhere on time. That fact alone is just one of reasons that my mom is so happy that a nomad like me somehow charmed you.”

“I love your mom so much,” she sighed as I nodded with her in agreement.  
“She thought for sure that soccer would be my first and only love in life. And for a long time it was. But that’s not the case anymore. I finally understand why being in love was so hyped up by all my siblings. I thought that promising myself to someone would be more like giving up your freedom, and sense of adventure. But it’s about being a team, and getting to go on this life adventure together. I love that we get to share all these incredible experiences together. Not many couples get to win a world cup together. Usually one is at home or on the sideline, but I get to be the last one to pass you the ball so that you can score. I get to catch you in my arms as we celebrate on the field. It’s too good to actually be real sometimes,” I said feeling the emotion in my voice.  
“I’m so grateful for all that you’ve said. I love that you are being so open Tobin. But I need you to promise me again that you aren’t about to drop some bad news on me, because you don’t do this very often,” she said wiping my stray tear.  
“I promise that I’m not buttering you up to then tell you something bad. I’m just so in love with you that I feel like telling you about it. Is that ok with you?”

She pulled my head towards hers by grabbing onto the collar of my sweatshirt. She kissed me a few times very deliberately. Getting to finally kiss her at this heightened moment almost made me forget about what this was all building up to.

“Is that the answer you were looking for?” She asked pulling back. “I’m wide awake now. Come and lay back down with me. I want to be closer to you.”  
“Soon, I just have more I want to say my love,” I said taking her right hand. “Can I take your rings off for you? You don’t normally sleep with them on.”  
“Yeah my jewelry box is in the bathroom,” she said moving to sit up.  
“I got it,” I said standing.

I quickly went to retrieve the box, and I brought it back to the bed. I knelt down next to her with both knees on the ground while she shifted closer to the edge of the bed. I opened the box. I took her hand again and slid the first ring off her pinkie finger.

“I will never get used to how soft your hands are,” I said chuckling while I moved on to her next finger.  
“That’s because I’m diligent in my moisturizer routine. Not only do I have to force sunscreen on you, I have bribe you with a post work out massage just to get some moisturizer on your beautiful skin.”  
“You’re just softer than me. I have athlete written all over my body. Not to mention many scars from an active childhood. You are just gentle with me, even when you are upset with me. I really am grateful to you for that Chris. I can be temperamental about things, and that can get me in trouble. Like when I heard that Franch was having awful things shouted at her during one of our games. When I first heard I just wanted to break something. I can’t stand people that have such hate in their hearts,” I told her as I pulled the last ring off and placed them all in the box.  
“I know don’t get yourself into that negative head space right now. We compliment each other really well. You lighten me up. Even if I’m having the worst day in Utah, once I hear your voice on the phone it just instantly revitalizes me. Your hands fit in mine so well,” she insisted lacing our fingers together.  
“Christen I really never imagined how I could be so lucky to be your teammate, friend, and somehow one of the most important people in your life. I look at it as a privilege and gift. I’ve thought of how I wanted to do this so many times. I normally would talk myself out of actually going through with it. I would just want it to be so perfect for you that I didn’t think I could deliver. But at the wedding yesterday I saw Ali and Ashlyn being so unapologetically themselves that it floored me. They had all these cameras, all of their family and friends could be so open with each other, and not to mention a big rainbow cake. Over the years we have slowly gotten more comfortable with ourselves, but it’s not enough. It’s not fair that we have to monitor our behavior, that we have to ever deny each other, and we have to watch everyone else around us get married. Christen Press I knew the first day we met that you were special, I knew the moment we had our first kiss that my life would never be the same, and I knew I wanted to marry you when I saw you meet my family for the first time.”

I paused taking in a deep breath. I saw her face begin to understand several sentences back, and now she was fully crying. I reached into my sweatshirt pocket and pulled out the ringbox. I was still kneeling on the hotel room floor when I pulled up my left knee so I was only kneeling on one. I slowly opened the box as she tried to wipe the tears from her face.

“Christen Press I promise to love you everyday for the rest of my life with all that I am. I cannot imagine my life without you being with me every step of the way. Will you do me the greatest honor of my life and marry me?” I asked.

To be continued…

Please let me know your thoughts. This is the first fic I've ever written for this website. Thank you.


	2. The Answer

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Christen gives her answer, and they reach out to someone close to them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to those who have commented. It means a lot that you took the time to do that. Please enjoy this chapter, and leave your thoughts below.

“Chris…” I whispered moving the ring box closer to her in my outstretched hands.

She was crying so hard that it was starting to worry me. She glanced at me and then looked down at her hands letting out a small sob.

“What can I do?” I asked concerned.

“I’m overwhelmed,” she admitted trying to calm down.

“This wasn’t the right time,” I said with a hint of guilt while shutting the box.

“Tobin…I’m just…I…”

“You don’t have to explain. This was so impulsive of me. The wedding was just so wonderful, and I’ve had the ring for a while, and I wanted it to be this big romantic moment. I so wanted to drop done one knee and ask you as soon as the final ended in France. I wish I had been brave enough to do that. That would’ve been so special. Please don’t cry anymore…”

I placed the box down on the night stand, and turned my attention back to her. She suddenly moved off of the bed and launched herself into my arms. The force of it knocked me onto my butt with her landing on my lap. I wrapped my arms around her, and moved her hair behind her shoulders. 

“Tobin Powell Heath,” she said slowly before giving me a light kiss.

“I’m sorry-“

“No apologies. I’m just emotional because of all of this. What a year it’s been. The lows have been extreme, and I was ready to just crawl into a hole and never come out. You’re the difference. You stayed with me in the dark, and gently guided me so that I could find a way back to the things I loved to do. You’ve been such a force ever since you entered my life. There is nothing wrong with today, or with asking me now. If you wouldn’t mind repeating the question I have an answer. The same answer that you would have gotten if you asked on the soccer field, or on one of our camping trips, or at any other time. Anytime you would’ve chosen would have been perfect,” she continued reaching to pick up the ring box.

“Chris I want you to have no doubts. This doesn’t have to happen now.”

“I’m so sorry that I didn’t answer right away Tobin,” she said bringing her left hand around the back of my neck. “Truly, but I wasn’t crying because I’m not sure if I want to get engaged, I was crying because of how different it’s all going to be without her.”

“Baby I’m…”

“No,” she insisted placing her forehead against mine. “I need you to ask me again. Please.”

I took the ring box out of her hand gently and brought it in between us. I ran my fingers over it slowly before looking into her eyes. She gave me a nod before I took a deep breath, and opened the box.

“Christen I am so blessed to get to be the person that loves you. I hope that you will allow me to keep doing that forever. So will you say yes now, and for the rest of our lives? Will you become my wife? Will you marry me Christen Annmarie Press?

“Yes. Yes,” she whispered before kissing my lips firmly. “I am so ready. I never knew that being in love could feel like this.”

“Do you want to try it on?” I asked before my mouth curved into a smile.

“Absolutely,” she answered as I took the ring out of the box.

I placed the ring box down on the floor, and then took her left hand in mine. My hand trembled as I pushed the ring onto her finger.

“I now pronounce you Tobin and Christen Heath,” Christen said sweetly looking at her hand.

“You want to take my name?” I asked shocked.

“Yes, this is the start of our family.”

“No, Chris you don’t have to do that. You are your own person with your own accomplishments. I don’t won’t you to give up your identity,” I said.

“I’m not giving anything up. Did you feel this way when Lauren or Julie took their husbands last names?”

“Kind of. They both were already so established their careers with their names, and then it just changes. I don’t want anyone to feel like you are just an extension of me. There are thousands of of people that wear your jersey at our games. They are so proud to wear your name, your family’s name.”  
“Of course I love my family, and my name. But my identity is not just my name. Lauren and Julie took their husbands names because they wanted to feel unified as a couple. That’s what getting married means, two people becoming one unit. I love you so much Tobin, I never want anyone to doubt who I’m married to. Let me carry your name, and let’s show everyone that we can’t be separated,” she stated pulling me into a gentle kiss.

“I love you so much for saying that Chris. Really…but I want you to know that if you want to be united with one name it doesn’t have to be mine. I would take yours. I would do what ever you wanted.”

“God…your’re the sweetest,” she told me before preceding to place kisses down the side of my face. “As much as I love my family name I would be very grateful to never have to hear another press pun for as long as I live.”

“Be careful what you wish for. You might just be swapping puns for candy bar references,” I said chuckling.

“Once there are two world class footballers named Heath the world will forget all about the candy bar.”

“You’ve thought a lot about this haven’t you?” I asked surprised.

“I told you that no matter when you asked I would’ve said yes. I’ve been dreaming of marrying you since our first kiss.”

“No way.”

“When you kissed me on that soccer field the impossible happened. Something that I had dreamed and hoped for became a reality. So after that I let myself dream to the fullest extent. What can’t we achieve together?” She asked seriously.

“I don’t know Mrs. Heath tell me?” I asked grinning from ear to ear.

She visibly shivered at the name.

“You seem to be coming around to my point of view,” Christen said looking at her ring.

“It’s not something I’d ever thought about, but the idea of people calling you that. It’s kind of…”

“Sweet, lovely, wonderful,” she said rattling off words.

This was a game we played with each other often. Christen’s vocabulary and general speaking abilities far surpassed mine. So I would often have a long pause in my sentences trying to find a word that could describe what I wanted to say. She would fill the silence with her guesses until we found the right one.

“That’s not quite what I was thinking.”  
She leaned into me, and her mouth found my left ear. 

“Maybe sexy is the word you are looking for?” She asked in a hushed tone.

My whole body just chuckled at the situation. She laughed with me and it was so amazing to hear her be light and joyful.

“I can’t believe this is really happening,” I mused looking at her beautiful face.

“I love you, I love you, I love you. There’s no getting rid of me. You officially put a ring on it,” she said pulling me into another kiss.

We kissed long enough for me to think it was going to lead us back to the bed. I held her tightly to me, and I could feel the coolness of the ring touch my skin every so often. Every time it did I kissed her harder. When one of my hands started to sneak up her shirt I felt her stop me.

“What’s wrong?” I asked concerned.

“I’m sorry, there’s just something I really want to do.”

“Ok, whatever you want,” I encouraged.

“Would you mind if we told someone really special to us now?”

“Who?”

“I just don’t want to wait. I want to tell your mom. I want her to be the first to know,” she explained getting misty eyed.

“You want to tell her first?”

“Yeah she has just meant so much to me since we first got together. She always welcomed me. And she has gone out of her way this past year to help the both of us. And when it was the hardest she let us stay at your family’s home in Jersey so that we could be together without all the reminders of what was happening. She made me feel like I was a part of your family before it was official. Can we call her?”

“Of course if that is what you want.”

“Did you tell her that you were planning to ask me soon?” Christen asked.

“No, but after the world cup final she did have a long conversation with me about my future.”

“Yeah, what exactly was it about?”

Flashback:

“That was a crazy night Tobs. Is Christen going to join us?” My mom asked as I sat down at an outside table at a cafe near the team hotel.  
“Sadly no, she had more to drink than I did in our celebrations last night. I tried to get her up but she really needed more sleep, especially since we are traveling later today,” I explained.

“I understand. I’m glad we could meet though. It was incredible watching you win for a second time yesterday, and getting to celebrate with the whole team. I just keep thinking to myself what more can you accomplish? You’ve won almost everything there is to win in the soccer world. I love how driven you are and I’m so proud of you, but I really miss you. I miss you and Christen sweetheart. How much longer do you two think you want to play?” She asked me.

“You know that we both miss you all so much too. It’s not something we like to talk about, us retiring. We both love it so much.”

“I know that you hate to think about not playing professionally anymore but you have been doing it for more than a decade now. That is way longer than most players get to play. Life can be so short Tobs, you have to force yourself to think about what you want life after soccer to look like. It doesn’t have to be the end of soccer. You could open an academy, be a coach or commentate. The point is you can do whatever you want, and you can spend more time with your loved ones,” she said reaching out for my hand.

“My profession makes me feel so selfish, but it’s still so hard to give up.”

“Think about Christen. What kind of future do you want to have with her?”

“I always want to have her in my future. That’s not even a question in my mind,” I said seriously.

“I am so happy that you’ve found her. She’s extraordinary, and she compliments you so well. I know that Ali and Ashlyn are finally getting married this year. Are you going to make me wait as long as their mothers have to watch you get married?” She asked laughing.

“Mom,” I said feeling the heat rise to my cheeks.

“You have thought about it haven’t you?”

“Of course I have. I’m just still concerned about being public with a relationship that is so precious to me. Don’t want to expose her to any possible negativity,” I explained.

“That’s the last thing I would want for you two either. But it’s also not fair to you both. All of your teammates get to marry and be open about who they love, and you deserve that too. Ali and Ashlyn have been so brave, but they are also free now. No more worrying, and beating around the bush. I want to see you be open and proud, because you have nothing to be ashamed of. I know that you value your privacy almost above anything else. But I’m worried that the longer you keep your relationship with Christen a secret the greater the chance will be that it could cause tension between the two of you. I don’t want to see that happen sweetheart.”

“Thank you mom really. I’ve been thinking about a lot of those same things. Christen is it for me. Of course I want to marry her. And I know that we are going to have a beautiful life together, where we bring her family together with ours. We will have many holidays that we get to experience together. I promise that after the Olympics we will seriously think about how much longer we are going to play. Thank you for caring so much mom, it means the world that you are always there for us,” I said holding her hands in mine.  
Present:

“Do you want to video call or just audio call her?” I asked as we sat down on the bed together.

“I really want her to see the ring,” she answered as I put my arms around her, and she sat in in between my legs in front of me. “But is my hair a mess?” 

“You look radiant,” I said smoothing out her curls.

“Is it too early?”

“She always gets up early. She’s probably eating breakfast right now,” I answered.

“Alright here we go,” she said holding up the phone so you could see our faces, and dialing my mom’s number.

After several rings the image of the kitchen ceiling in my childhood home appeared.

“Christen sweetheart how are you?” My mom’s voice asked.

“Very well Ms. Heath. We were calling to-“

“Mom it’s a video call, pick up your phone so we can see you,” I said loudly.

“Oh my…I didn’t realize,” she said as the image shakily moved to show different parts of the kitchen. “Can you see me?” She asked while her eyes and nose filled the whole screen.

“Hold the camera further back,” I suggested.

“I was just making some coffee. Sorry I’m still in my pjs,” she said showing us her whole face.

“Try putting the camera on the breadbox so you don’t have to hold it.”

“Good idea,” she said placing it there and then looking at us. “You both look beautiful. How was the wedding last night?”

“It was beyond amazing. Such a gorgeous venue, and they were both so happy. It was an honor to get to witness them exchange vows,” Christen gushed.

“And the dancing was lots of fun. Ali even crowd surfed,” I added chuckling.

“That sounds like a wedding for the ages,” my mom said smiling.

“It was. There were so many of our old friends there, and to get to be there together was really great,” Christen looking back at me.

“Make sure to send me photos from last night so I can see what a lovely couple you made.”

“We will, but we were calling to tell you something actually,” Christen said becoming nervous.

“Oh this sounds serious. I’m listening. Tobin please don’t tell me that you have hurt yourself again.”

“No mom, I’m fine. Better than fine. So something really excited just happened and we wanted you to be the first to know. Christen do you want to tell her?” I asked putting my head on her shoulder.

“Yeah um…so this morning…” she began.

“Christen you can tell me anything. Don’t be nervous,” my mom reassured.

“Thank you. It’s just important, and you mean so much to me, and of course Tobin. So there is some news that we wanted to share with you, before we told anyone else. And we wanted to tell you first because of how much you’ve supported us, and welcomed me…I…”

“Christen I’ve never seen you at a loss for words.”

“It’s just a lot to process. There are a lot of feelings swirling around in me,” she explained letting a few tears roll down her cheeks.

“Baby, do you want me to say it?” I whispered to her.

“This morning Tobin proposed,” Christen said quickly holding up her hand to show her ring.

“Oh! Oh my gosh!” My mom yelled. “Tobin you really did it!”

Christen started to cry more at my mom’s excited reaction. I held her tighter to me.

“I wish I could hug you both. I’m so excited. Ali and Ashlyn’s wedding must have been that final push you needed to ask her. You are a wonderful addition to the family sweetheart, and that is such a drop dead gorgeous ring. Don’t cry, it’s going to make me cry,” my mom said also getting misty eyed.

“Your love just is everything to us,” Chris said softly.

“And you are everything to my daughter. Of course I’m over the moon about this. I just can’t wait for all the planning, parties, and excitement where we get to celebrate you both. It’s also unbelievable that Tobin is going to get married before her little brother. I always that Tobin would be last,” she said laughing.

“Yeah take that Jeff,” I said kissing the side of her face.

“I’m so grateful that I get to be a Heath,” Christen said wiping her eyes.

“You have been for a while honey,” my mom said sweetly.

“Mom she wants to change her name to Heath.”

“Oh wow. That’s really something. Tobin you have to understand that you have found a true soulmate.”

“I know that mom. She is one of a kind.”

“Well I’m so grateful that you told me first. I don’t want to keep you if you need to go. I know that it’s been a busy couple of days. And I promise I won’t spill the beans. You can tell who you want, when you want. Love you both, congratulations,” she said waving at us.

“Love you,” we both said at the same time before ending the call.

After Christen placed the phone to the side of the bed, she fell back into me sighing.

“I just can’t seem to stop crying,” she said sadly.

“Some of it is happy tears. There is nothing wrong with crying on a momentous day. And this is pretty momentous.”

“Can you just hold me for a while?” She asked.

“Always,” I answered as we laid all the way down, and snuggled together.

“I just really miss her right now.”

“I know baby, I know,” I said holding her against me.


	3. Is This Our First Time?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The aftermath of thoughts that occur after they take a nap.

Tobin's POV

Several Hours Later

“Chris…Chris…” I whispered rubbing her back in an attempt to wake her up gently.

She leaned back into my touch, before snuggling further into the pillow.

“I hate to wake you up, but we need to get to the airport.”

“It’s so cozy here,” she sighed.

“You fell asleep while we were laying here, so I packed your suitcase for you. Then I laid out your comfy clothes for the plane ride. Which are just a pair of my sweats. I waited as long as I could until I woke you up. But we have to leave in the next 45 minutes in order to make our flight home.”

“Thank you,” she said turning around to face me with her eyes finally opening to find mine.

“Of course, my bride to be deserves a lot more than that.”

“I can’t believe I fell asleep,” she said sitting up on the bed.

“You needed the rest. I woke you up earlier than what we had planned.”  
“But for a monumental reason,” Christen said holding her left hand up.

“Can’t disagree with you there,” I said laughing.

“I fell asleep…when we could’ve been…I just can’t believe I did that. You only have that spontaneous moment after you get engaged once, and I can’t believe I let it pass me by like that.”

“Hey nothing was ruined. The day has only just begun,” I said studying her face.

“But we’re traveling. It’s going to be a long day. We won’t get back to the apartment until dark, and I always feel gross after being on a plane. You probably won’t even want to-“

“Woah, woah, I’m going to stop you right there. Christen look at me,” I said moving closer to put my arms on either side of her legs, which she had brought up in front of her chest. “Are you insinuating that I won’t want to have sex with you?” I asked in disbelief.

“That word…”

“Sorry, I know how feel about using that. But Chris, love of my life, woman of my dreams, when have I ever not wanted to make love to you?” I asked again trying to make sure she didn’t look away from me.

She just stared back at me not needing to say out loud what was the obvious answer.

“I know I made you wait three months until we took that big step in our relationship, but that’s because I knew how much it was going to mean to both of us. That first time terrified me, and I stumbled my way through it, but the emotional connection we made was there right from the beginning.”

“I just felt like you created this big beautiful romantic moment, and I called your mom and then fell asleep. It would have been such a perfect moment to share ourselves with each other, for another first time. The first time as fiancées,” she explained.

“Well I’m happy to be the one to tell you that there will be a first time as fiancées. One way or another,” I said trying to suppress my signature smile.

“I just had imagined it differently.”

“I’m so happy to know that you thought about it. How did you imagine it would’ve happened?” I asked curious.

“Maybe it wasn’t realistic of me, but I thought that whenever it happened that there would be nothing but us for days. That we would get to celebrate by getting completely lost in each other,” she admitted sheepishly.

I leaned into her, pausing to breathe in her unique scent, before bringing her chin closer to mind with a soft tug. I kissed her slowly, grateful that she closed her eyes, and pushed herself further into me. After another minute I pulled back slowly. For a split second I saw the disappointment on her face, before she opened her eyes.  
“That sounds like an amazing plan, but a little exhausting if I’m honest,” I joked, desperate to see her smile. “It’s the off season right now, so my stamina is not at its best.”

“Can you be serious?” She asked holding in a laugh.

“You love my humor.”

“I love you,” she whispered emotional.

“I will cancel the flight right now, and stay in this hotel room with you until you get tired of me, if that’s what you want. I want to give you your dream. Just tell me,” I quietly pleaded.

“I don’t want to make things complicated,” she said shrugging.

“Besides the flight we don’t have anything planned for the next few days. It’s not that complicated if you just want to push the flight back. I’ve been carrying the ring around with me for months, and I just couldn’t wait anymore.”

“I’m so relieved the waiting is over,” she admitted crawling onto my lap.

“Let’s stay,” I whispered as she hugged me.

“I miss our apartment. It is just starting to really feel like us with the decoration.”

“We will have so many firsts as fiancées. Our first sexy car ride to the airport,” I said causing her to giggle. “Our first sexy trip through airport security. You checking me out as I put your carry-on bag into the overhead bin. You looking so seductive in your orthopedic neck pillow.”

“Alright comedic genius of mine, we are going to miss that flight if we don’t go soon.”

“You are really alright with this?”

“I promise,” she said standing up from the bed.

I saw her stare at her ring, and twirl it around her finger slowly.

“You can take it off when we go in public.”

“No,” she said defeated.

“It doesn’t mean we aren’t in engaged if you aren’t wearing it.”

“I shouldn’t have to hide it.”

“I just want you to be comfortable. It might invite more people to ask questions,” I said with concern.

“I don’t want to ever take it off.”

“Chris…”  
“That’s why you asked me right? So that we don’t have to make comprises anymore. So that we don’t have to change our behavior?”

“I asked you because I want to always be yours,” I said honestly.

“With or without marriage I would’ve hoped that we would always be together. What is it more specifically that makes you want to get married?”

“Well marriage to me was always that peak of a relationship to me. Growing up in the church I learned all about how it was something scared between two people. Obviously I went through a time where I struggled with the idea of if I would be able to get married. But once I found peace in myself and I met you I knew that all of this was a possibility again. Marriage to me has always meant commitment, partnership, and family. I have always be committed to you from the beginning, but I want to be committed to you in every way possible. I want to call you my wife. That’s important to me, I love you too much not to marry you,” I whispered beginning to cry.

Christen joined me on the bed again. She didn’t need to say anything. We just needed to be close to each other. After a few minutes of silence she said,

“What can I say to that?”

“You really want to marry me too?”

“Nothing could stop me from making that happen,” Christen answered bringing her mouth against mine.

As she began to lay on top of me I had to use all of my will power to stop her.

“What about the flight?” I asked not daring to open my eyes.

“There’s one an hour later. I remember from when I booked the flight. We owe it to ourselves to have our first make out as fiancées,” she said moving my hair out of my face.

As she came in for another kiss I backed up again.

“Just a make out?” I groaned.

“Yes, we will save the real deal for home.”

“Home,” I repeated smiling at her.

“Our safe haven, I think that will make it so special,” she whispered against my lips.

“Hold on to me.”

“What?”

I wrapped my arms around her and shifted her to the edge of the bed. She looked at me confused. I quickly stood up bringing her with me.  
“Hold on to me,” I repeated bending down to lift under her butt.

She yelped as she wrapped her arms and legs around me.

“I want to see you in the sunlight,” I said walking us over to the window.

I stood there with her in my arms mesmerized. She was an angel.

“How do I get to be the one that marries you?” I asked in disbelief.

“I was going to ask you the same thing,” she said bringing our foreheads together.

“Love you.”

“And I love you,” she said diving in for a kiss.

“Gently, babe,” I said in between kisses.

“Sorry.”

“Don’t be embarrassed, I just want to take my time with you.”

“A lifetime’s worth?”

“Perfect.”

Several Hours Later

“Don’t take the bags in. Let me pay and then I will get them,” I insisted as she got out onto the curb.

I saw her nod while pulling her jacket tighter around her. I paid the driver in cash before joining her. We walked around to the trunk that was already popped open.

“Go on up,” I suggested.

“I’m not going to let you take all the bags.”

“It’s cold. I have more layers on than you. Please go.”

“Tobin…I…am I marrying a Saint or a stubborn mule?” She asked chuckling.

She slowly ran her hand down my arm before squeezing my left hand. She turned to face the apartment building before her hand came darting back into the trunk grabbing my backpack.

“Hey!” I yelled in shock.

“What’s yours is mine,” she laughed before disappearing into the lobby of the building.  
I quickly gathered up our two rolling bags, her tote, and her garment bag before closing the trunk and heading inside. I was pleased to find that she had already made it onto the elevator. I got the next one up. It was about 8:30 pm in Portland, and we were both ecstatic to be home. Once I made it to the our door I found that it was propped open with a door jam. I made it through the door and placed the bags in the kitchen. I found her removing her coat and hanging it up in the hallway closet. As soon as I saw her I was hit with a wave of nervousness.

“You hungry?” I asked.

“Not really, You?” she answered glancing at me over her shoulder.

“I’m good. Tired?” I countered feeling myself start to sweat in my three layers of clothes.

“Surprisingly no, I actually got some sleep on the plane. Are you ready to go to sleep?”

“I’m….I don’t feel all that tired,” I managed to stammer out.

Our answers revealed where the night was headed, and we both realized that at the same time.

“Babe,” she whispered sensing my nervousness.

I tugged my black sweatshirt over my head quickly. Then I immediately removed the long sleeve t-shirt I had on under that leaving me in only my plain white t-shirt.

“Do you want me to start unpacking? I know how you hate not being able to find what you’re looking for,” I said focusing on the bags at my feet.

“What’s really going through your head?” She asked walking over to me.

“I…I didn’t know for sure if we would tonight…and I think I’m just overthinking it right now.”

“This is a little bit of a 180 from earlier. I was so worried about this being special, and you were the one that comforted me.”

“I wasn’t worried five minutes ago, but now that we’re here I just feel some pressure.”

“I haven’t heard you mention feeling pressure since our first time,” she said taking my hands gently.

“That was a lot of pressure. A lot, and I didn’t exactly deliver the most incredible experience,” I answered in more of a whisper.

“I love you so much. Every single time we’ve been together has been special to me. Do you hear me?” Christen asked placing my arms around her.

“Yeah, I always hear you.”

“You know we can just go to sleep. The last thing I want is for you to feel pressured or worried.”  
Christen said as I leaned in and kissed her softly.

“Was that a good night kiss?” She asked against my lips.

“That was an I want to make love to my fiancée kiss.”

Christen smiled wide at me and began to pull my face to hers. I resisted.

“I have an idea. How about we wash the plane off us first. You take our bathroom, and I’ll shower in the guest bathroom. How does that sound?”

“We’d shower separately?” She asked confused.

“I just thought it could make it more special. My only request as to what you put back on after your shower would be this,” I said touching the engagement ring on her left hand.

“Just this?”

“I wouldn’t complain.”

“This is my request, give me your shirt, and I’ll wear that,” she said tugging on the hem of my shirt.

I stared back at her with my brain short circuiting.

“I’ll turn around,” she said stepping back and turning away from me.

I pulled my shirt over my head quickly and then smoothed it out with my hands. I took two steps towards her and placed it over her shoulder. She reached her hand back to find mine and I grasped it with mine.

“Don’t be nervous,” she said stroking her thumb against mine. “Ok, I’m not going to look back at you because I will never make it to the shower,” she said giving my hand a final squeeze before making her way towards our bathroom.

Fifteen minutes later I was sitting on our bed with the lights dimmed and my hair damp from the shower. I had on a white re inc cut off shirt and a pair of black shorts. I rearranged the pillows on the bed at least five times. I was alone for another fifteen minutes and I started to unpack our suitcases to keep my hands busy. I was hanging a few of her clothes up in the closet when I heard the bathroom door open. I turned around quickly to face her.

“Sorry, I took so long,” she said tucking her freshly straightened hair behind her ears. “You’d think we’d never done this before,” she laughed to herself.

“You are so beautiful,” I sighed looking at her in my white t-shirt that fell to her mid thigh.

She rushed into my arms, and I walked us over to the bed. I sat down and she moved onto my lap. I couldn’t keep my hands from running over her thighs.

“You shaved?” I asked.

“Yeah. It really does feel like our first time.”

“Oh, I think tonight is going to make that one a distant memory,” I said before kissing her.

“I still can’t believe we are engaged,” Christen said into my ear.

“I only wish I did it sooner,” I breathed back into her hair as we held each other close.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please leave a comment if you got something out of this story, it really helps motivate me.


	4. Discoveries

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They both continue to revel in the excitement of their engagement, and discover new things about each other.

Tobin’s Pov

The Next Morning

“Resist,” I murmured into her shoulder as she tried to sit up.

“Tobin,” she whispered turning around to face me.

“Just skip one day of yoga. Just today.”

“I don’t have to tell you how much yoga helps me start my day off right,” she said quietly being mindful of the fact that I was still waking up.

“Of course, I love that you have found something so beneficial to you, but missing one day isn’t a big deal. Aren’t you tired? Just rest here with me,” I encouraged her.

“My routine is so important…I have to…”

“You don’t have to,” I interrupted moving to place myself above to her. “Let me get your day started off right,” I continued.

“I honestly thought I could sneak away and come back before you even noticed. You crashed hard, and you’ve only been asleep for a few hours,” she said reaching her left hand into my hair while beginning to massage my scalp.

“Nothing zaps my energy like spending the night with you,” I said laughing harder than I thought I would.

“More than two-a-day practices?”

“No comparison.”

“I make you work so hard,” she said sharing in my laughter.

“Last night was so amazing, I physically can’t let you leave me alone in this bed. Your first yoga session as an engaged woman is going to have to wait.”

“Is all that pressure lifted from you now?” She asked concerned.  
“It was the moment you came out of our bathroom.”

“I’m so relieved to hear that,” she sighed.

“It’s you, it’s us, I don’t know why I let myself get to that place of insecurity.”

“That shows me how much you care about our relationship. Even after all this time I still make you nervous. And I want you to know that goes both ways. I feel like you make me feel nervous and secure at the same time. I feel like that because I love you so much. Your smile, your eyes, your hands, your creativity, and your heart. It’s going to be such a privilege to be your wife.”

“Chris, you know I feel exactly the same,” I said hearing my voice break.

“I have to tell you what happened when I checked us out of the hotel in Miami while you were getting a cab,” she said as I laid down next to her to rest my arms. “When I went to the front desk, I said I was checking out of room 453, and the employee looked up our reservation. Since you made it he said thank you Ms. Heath for your business. I was so surprised that I said could you repeat that. He glanced at his computer and said excuse me did I get your name wrong? Are you not Ms. Heath? I paused and yes, that’s me, and he handed me a receipt to sign, and I put my hands up on the counter so I could do that, then he said oh you’re married. Excuse me that was my mistake Missus Heath. When he said that it was like a surge through my body. It felt so right Tobin. For that to be the first time anyone other than you has called me that, and on the day after you propose to be. It was like an unexpected glimpse at the rest of my life, and it made me so euphoric. I’m going to be Missus Heath, all because of you,” she said sweetly.

“Chris…” I whispered trying to contain my emotions at her words.

“It’s ok to be vulnerable. You are always safe with me. Always,” she said bringing herself close enough to touch her nose against mine. “I love when you are strong for me, but I need to be strong for you too.”

“You are so strong, so strong,” I repeated letting myself cry.

We took the rest of the morning to stay in bed together, and process all of the feelings we were having. Hours later I found myself watching Chris go through her yoga routine with me sitting a few feet away.

“One of these days you might be doing this with me,” she said looking at me through her bent legs.

“I went to several classes with you when we were first dating, and you know I was pulling out all the stops for you.”

“So now that you have locked me down you don’t have to impress me anymore?” She asked before switching to another position.

“You know I love to impress you, but I prefer to do that on the field,” I answered getting up and walking over to her to lean down and kiss her while she was stretching.

“So I hope that means your fiancée will be the one person that doesn’t have to fall victim to your soul crushing nutmegs,” she said switching positions again.

“Well…”

“Tobin!” I said shocked.

“It’s like a reflex that I can’t always control,” I said chuckling.

“For the sake of our marriage you have to learn to control your reflexes,” Chris said standing up.

“All my reflexes?” I questioned pulling her into my arms. “That would mean this one,” I said brushing her flyaway hairs out of her face. “And this one,” I continued lacing my fingers with hers.

“Yeah you are incredibly charming,” she said teasing me. “You aren’t normally on the other side of a nutmeg, but I can be having the most productive practice and here you come, and slip one between my legs.”

I opened my mouth to spout off a joke at her choice of words, and her left hand covered my open mouth before I could get a word out.

“Don’t you dare,” she threatened trying to keep a serious face.

She lowered her hand a little.

“I was just going to say-“ she placed her had over my mouth again.

I gently took a hold of her wrist and kissed her palm before lowering her hand.

“Of course I won’t.”

“What do you mean?” She asked not understanding.

“You are the exception.”

“No more nutmegs?” She chuckled.

“Another promise from me to you.”

“Are you being serious?”

“For the sake of our marriage I would do anything,” I declared.

“You know I was just pulling your leg.”

“I know, but I now that you bring it up, I think it would be in my best interest not to be nutmegging my fiancée,” I said finishing my sentence with a forehead kiss.

“I would appreciate that.”

“You are the only one I could ever make that promise to.”

“I consider it the utmost privilege,” she said through a wide smile.

“How could I ever do that to Missus Heath.”

“That is a good question. I couldn’t do that to my family.” I said sincerely.

I put my hands on her hips and brought her closer to me. We searched each others eyes for a few moments. Our lips connected in the middle. 

“Come back to bed,” I sighed into her mouth.

“It’s been only ten minutes since I started, and I thought you were going to work on your painting?”

“You were the one that said you wanted to get lost in each other for days,” I said picking her up quickly. “We’ve got a few more days to go.”

She laughed as I walked us back into the bedroom.

The Next Morning

“We have officially been in bed for almost twelve hours,” Christen said as she placed her head on my shoulder and wrapped my arm around her.

“I hope that means that I’ve fulfilled your hopes then.”

“You always do. And I should feel like a lazy slug right now, but I don’t.”

“I have finally shown you the ways of of how to hard chill,” I laughed letting my fingers brush against her side.

“I thought you wanted to keep your heart rate down when you are hard chilling?”

“Well I guess you’ve outsmarted me again,” I said punctuating my sentence with a feather light kiss to her shoulder.

“Do you want to talk about when you want the wedding to be?” She asked placing her hand on top of mine.

“You are just as eager as me, huh?”

“Well, you know that planning is a real love of mine, and I just wanted to talk about it more with you. I’ve envisioned what it could look like a few times before, but we have never really had a conversation about it, what kind of wedding we might want to have.”

“Chris that is so sexy,” I whispered to her.

“Ugh,” she groaned and tried to push her hair in front of her face to hide from me.

“Don’t be shy about it. I just can’t believe you want to get to the details already, after two days. I love my well prepared girl,” I joked pushing the hair out of her face.

“I just thought it would be fun to fantasize about.”

“Babe, you know that I want whatever you want. If you want to get married on a boat next month, or plan it out and have it at the end of next year, I will be happy with whatever makes you happy. Even if you just want to go to the courthouse.”

“But I want something that is going to make us both excited,” she said exhaling at the end of her sentence.

“I have a suggestion. What if we try to guess what each other’s dream wedding would be?”

“Ok, but you have to really think. Don’t make any jokes,” she said rolling on top of me to look me directly in the eyes.

“I promise, this is serious Tobin you are talking to,” I answered placing a hand on her heart for a brief moment. “You first since you have been thinking about this for awhile.”

“After being in a relationship with you for five years, I am almost positive that you envisioned the the proposal countless times, but the ceremony hasn’t actually crossed your mind yet,” she said touching my forehead when she said mind.

“That is scary baby,” I said closing my eyes briefly to digest that.

“And in true opposites attract fashion I…”

“Wait…you were the opposite?” I asked interrupting her.

She nodded slowly to me.

“No way.”

“I’ve thought about the ceremony a lot, but I never worried about the proposal. Of course I thought you would ask eventuality. I hoped you would.”

“You knew I would. You knew,” I responded with confidence.

“Yes I knew, and I never had to worry about how it was going to happen because I knew you would do something romantic, and something that was really us.”

“So you aren’t disappointed I didn’t ask you by paying to have it put on the jumbotron at a blazers game?”

“This is my you know exactly what I’m thinking face.”

“And what I beautiful face it is,” I said leaning down to smell her hair.

“Thank you,” she smiled sweetly. “Alright so to continue about what I would imagine your dream wedding would be. I have to guess something you haven’t actually thought about yet. I know that you always want to put me first. You always want me to be happy first, and I love how much you care, but we are different in some ways. Getting dressed up is exciting for me and going to a big event is something I look forward to. Nothing makes me more elated to have you by my side at those kinds of things, but I am more than aware that I am dragging you along, and you are only there for me. So what can I describe as your ideal wedding day? Would it be just a handful of family and friends at an outdoor ceremony somewhere picturesque? Would something between just the two of us and the officiant be better because there wouldn’t be any pressure? Our wedding should be nothing but joy and peace. I don’t want you to feel uncomfortable for one moment. You could care less about material things like the cake, venue, or clothes. I think all you truly want out of our wedding is for us to say our vows to each other and I do. I have to ask if having a ceremony at all would really be something you would want? And there is no wrong answer Tobin.”

I thought about all of her words, and closed my eyes for a minute. I could feel her body weight as I breathed in and out. I knew she wouldn’t speak again, until I answered. She would give me all the time I needed to think about this. 

I kept my eyes closed as I began to speak, “Obviously what is most important to me is to be legally married, and of course you know that big events, and public speaking are not easy for me to be a part of. The idea of having a ceremony where no else is involved is not something that I ever thought would be a possibility,”

“Well it is,” she insisted placing her hand on my cheek and making me look at her.

“But you’ve probably dreamed about all kinds of wonderful things…” I said sadly.

“I have dreamed, but it’s always been about you. Our first kiss, holding your hand, and dancing with you. Those are what have played in my head over and over. Not table decorations, food, or different locations.

“Chris tell me you won’t regret having something just with us? What about your family? Won’t they be disappointed?” I asked unsure.

“No baby they won’t be. Of course they love us, and want to celebrate our love. Weddings are a very personal event for the couple getting married. It should be all about the couple. My family knows you and understands your personality. They would completely understand. And we could still have a celebration with them. We could have a private dinner where both our families and friends could enjoy a meal and celebrate us, but there wouldn’t be that overwhelming pressure on you or me to have to stand up in front of everyone while we say our vows. How do you feel about that?”

“I’m just trying to compare that with what I was thinking your dream wedding would be. I thought that you would want the flowing dress, an intimate but beautiful wedding, with your sisters to be your bridesmaids, and even have your father walk you down the aisle. I’m having a hard time getting past the idea that you won’t regret not having those things happen,” I said not wanting to sound frustrated.

“I will have a beautiful dress, even if we get married in the woods with an officiant. In anyway that it happens I could never have regrets about marrying you. You know how much my family means, but this is about as becoming family,” she said passionately.

“How do you always seem to be more in tune with my feelings than I am?”

“You avoid thinking about the things that you don’t want to face, that’s you defense mechanism to keep yourself from getting hurt. I overthink when I have too much going on, or something that is bothering me. I think in helping each other process difficult situations that we have been faced with over the years, we both got really intuitive at reading each other. We don’t have to talk more about this is if don’t want to,” she said honestly.

“You never cease to amaze me. I’m just overwhelmed at how you turned our little game into unearthing these feelings I’ve been avoiding,” I said covering my face with my hands.

She let me breathe. She let me shield my face from her. She didn’t rush me, she always gave me that extra time to process, because she knew I needed it. Eventually I rubbed my face and let my hands fall. She wasn’t staring at me, she was just breathing in and letting me feel her body against mine.

“You are my everything,” I professed quietly.

She opened her eyes and leaned up to reach my lips. She kissed me a few times, and rested her hands against my neck.

“We belong to each other, and nothing is ever going to change that. I feel for you when you can’t, and you always look after me. I just love you so much.”

“I’m here, and I always will be,” I whispered holding her close.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to all the new readers. Let me know if you are enjoying where this story is going or the tone of it so far.


	5. A Different World

A Few Months Later…April 2020

Tobin’s Pov

“Where is your mind right now?” I asked turning around from my painting that I had been engrossed in for over an hour.

Christen had come with me to my old apartment which I had been my safe haven during this global pandemic crisis the world was currently experiencing. She had been almost silent since we had arrived, but that wasn’t out of the norm. She was very respectful of my creative space, and she knew how much I threw myself into my art. She would usually only break me out of my zone when it was getting late, and she knew that I would work all night unless she lured me away from my endless creative pursuit. But today Christen seemed to be very subdued.

“I’m ok,” she said unconvincingly glancing out at the view of Portland from the floor to ceiling windows.

I put down my brush and turned around to face her. 

“What can I do for you?” I asked knowing that she was experiencing an emotional downturn that I had come to try an anticipate.

“Today is just one of the not so good days. I can’t shut my mind off. I’m looking too far ahead, and I….it’s just…”

“I know…this is such an impossible time,” I said walking over to her.

She fell into me and she immediately started to cry. I rubbed her back for several minutes, and my heart ached like it always did when I heard her cry.

“All of this…I just can’t wait anymore…” she sobbed trying to get herself back under control.

“I know it hurts to be away from the game, I miss it so much.”

“No…I mean I miss that, but with everything that is happening, with so much suffering…baby I just want to be married to you. We never know how much time we have left, I can’t wait for something as integral as being bound to you,” she said trying to find my eyes though her tears.

“Sweetheart…”

“I didn’t want to tell you like this.”

“Nothing about this is wrong. You are hurting, we are all hurting. This is a scary time, and I am so grateful to have this time with you. I asked you to marry me because I was ready…I will marry you tomorrow, next week, there isn’t even a question or hesitation about that,” I said before kissing her forehead.

“You really want to?”

“Don’t pretend like you need me to answer that,” I chuckled wanting her to smile.

I saw a hint of a smile creep into her face. Her features softened the longer she looked at me. Suddenly I had an idea that I thought could really shift her mood for the better. I leaned in close and she looked at my lips. When I saw her close her eyes in anticipation of the kiss, I quickly bent down to sweep her into my arms.

“What in the world!” she yelled.

“Can I not carry my bride across the threshold?

“I love you,” she said placing her arms around my neck letting the mood turn serious again.

“With all that I am,” I said walking forward with her in my arms.

“Where are you taking me?”

“The threshold. I was serious about that.”

“I thought that normally happened on your wedding night?”  
“You know I’m a fan of practice, especially if our wedding is eminent,” I said opening the apartment door and walking with her into the hallway.

I felt her grip on me tighten as I turned around and walked back inside with her.

“Just take a deep breath with me my love,” I told her as soon as I heard the door close behind me.

As she exhaled I lowered her to the floor.

“Nothing will stop us from getting married. I promise, and you know I don’t do so lightly.”

“I know, thank you…thank you…” she whispered pulling me into a kiss.

After a minute of getting lost in her mouth I paused to whisper, “ Paint with me.”

“I don’t want to mess you up.”

“That is not possible. It is so therapeutic, I really would love to create something together. Something for our walls, something that is an expression of us. I already have a new canvas ready to go,” I told her pointing to where it was on the floor.

“Art is not one of my particular talents.”

“I would argue you just haven’t given it a proper chance. Please, for me? For both of us?”

“It’s your expensive paint that might go to waste,” she said chuckling.

“Ha. ha,” go sit down by the canvas, and I’ll bring the paint to you.”

“Kiss first.”

“Yeah?” I asked taking hold of her hips.

“It would be nice,” she responded leaning into me.

“You know that you never have to ask. That’s kind of like a perk of being married. We both want to spend the rest of our lives together, so you should be able to lay one on me whenever you want to. I promise that I’ll never complain.”

“You asked for it,” she whispered before kissing me quickly.

I held onto her tight, and let my hands tease the small of her back under her shirt.

“Easy,” she whispered against my lips.

“You make it easy to get carried away,” I sighed.

“Let’s paint, and we can revisit this later.”

“Dope, I’ve been waiting for this for quite awhile. Sit down,” I said kissing the side of her head before backing away to grab the paint tubes.

I watched her go and sit down near the the edge of the canvas. She tied her hair back with the hair tie from her wrist, and pushed her sleeves up above her elbows. I took two trips to bring the paint tubes over to her.

“Where you going to sit?” She asked curious.

“Right here,” I said crouching behind her and stretching my legs out around her.

“Really?”

“Really, really,” I answered pressing a kiss to her shoulder.

“This is not Ghost, and you are not Patrick Swayze.”

“That’s true, but this could be our version.”

“Are you going to help me paint?” She asked.

“We are doing it together, but I might guide you through it,” I answered putting some of the paint onto a palette. 

“How is that going to work with you being left-handed and me being right-handed?” She asked leaning back into me.

“Oh you of little faith. Who’s the artist here?” I asked wrapping my arms around her.

“Definitely you.”

She turned her head to look at me, and I couldn’t resist stealing one more kiss.

“It’s all going to work out,” I assured her.

“You can’t promise that,” she said with fear in her voice.

“I promise to be with you always, every step of the way. We are together no matter what happens.”

She took my hands in hers and wrapped them around her midsection. 

“I can’t wait to put a ring on your finger. I mean…is that something you want? To have a wedding band?” She mused taking my ring finger between her own.

“Why would you even need to ask?”

“You rotate through five different pieces of jewelry so one might assume that you could possibly not want to wear one.”  
“I’ve only ever worn one ring, of which I later bought you a matching one. I always thought of this ring as a commitment to our love, but it doesn’t replace the rings you exchange with wedding vows. Of course I want to have a visible symbol of marriage on my hand. That’s never something I questioned.”

“I’m glad to hear that. I would’ve been fine with your decision either way, but I cannot deny that you having a wedding ring would be incredibly special to me,” she said toying with the love ring on my other hand.

“I’m yours, and only yours.”

“I love you,” she whispered as I placed my chin on her shoulder.

“I love you.”

“Do you want to pick your ring?”

“I hadn’t really thought about it. I figured that would be something that would come up closer to the wedding. But since our plans are ever evolving with the world we should decide.”

“We?”

“I picked your ring out, maybe you should pick mine.”

“Most couples pick out their wedding bands together.”

“You know that I’m not picky, and I think it might be really nice to be surprised by whatever you pick. What do you think?” I asked slowly.

“Ok….yeah I think it would be special to choose one for you.”

“Awesome. Thank you.”

“No need to thank me Tobin.”

“I want to. I always do, Chris,” I whispered angling her head towards mine with my left hand.

I kissed her firmly, and I felt her sigh of surprise against my lips. Our lips moved quickly against each other, and she began to turn around towards me.

“Baby,” she said pushing away from me.

“Did I get your lip?” I asked studying her lips.

On a few occasions in the heat of the moment I had found my teeth grazing her lips a little too hard.

“No,” she answered bringing her hand up against her lips.

“I’m sorry,” I apologized for anything I might have done wrong.  
“I want to, but I want to take our time, in our bed,” she said sincerely.

“Oh…of course…of course…it wasn’t my intention for it to go there.”

“It’s just now that we are here, I kind of actually want to paint with you.”

“Thank you. Thank you. Thank you,” I said kissing her on a different part of her face each time.

She turned around to sit with her back to me again, I squeezed her against me before taking ahold of a paint brush with my left hand. I dipped it in the dark red pigment I had on the palette. I brought my hands in front of her to place the brush in her right hand.

“Let’s start with red. You can move the brush wherever you want and I will help guide you.”

“But what are we trying to make?” She asked hesitant.

“This is not about making it look like something. We are just creating, just interacting with the canvas. If we allow ourselves to channel our feelings into it, it will be cathartic for us. Let your insecurities go, let anxiety go, as well as any doubt. You can’t make any mistakes. You couldn’t even if I wasn’t here. The hardest part is the first stroke. Go ahead,” I insisted leaving my hand resting slightly on top of hers.

She took a breath and as she exhaled she let her hand lower to the canvas in order to paint a broad stroke of red directly in the middle.

“Bold. That has always been you,” I stated with pride.

“It took time for me to get to this place in my life, you have always made me bolder.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello everyone. There doesn't seem to be too much interest in this story, so I am thinking of starting a new story with a different concept. If you feel strongly about this one please let me know.


	6. Our Day

Two Weeks Later

Tobin’s Pov

“You look beautiful, can we please go?” I asked from the bathroom doorway watching her put her hair in a bun.

“Sorry, I just can’t get my hair to a place where I’m happy with it.”

“It looked beautiful in a ponytail, it looked beautiful in a braid, and it looks beautiful now. We are just going to Providence Park babe, not out on a date,” I continued walking up behind her.

“I know, it’s just important to me.”

“Well my hairstyle knowledge begins and ends with pulling my hair into a half-bun just to get it off my neck. Sorry I’m not any help,” I laughed before placing a kiss to her shoulder.

“I just need a few more minutes.”

“It’s just you and me getting in some practice. Why are you being hard on yourself?” I asked confused at her behavior.

“I just…I know it’s silly…”

“I just don’t want you to get down on yourself,” I whispered pulling her face gently towards my eyes. “Say that you’re beautiful.”

“Tobin,” she exhaled.

“Chris, it’s important to me that you say it.”

“I’m beautiful,” she said slowly.

She looked at me and I could see so many thoughts running through her mind. She let her eyes turn downward and I could see the tears starting to form in her those mesmerizing green orbs.

“I think my hair isn’t quite right. Something is out of place,” I said pulling my ponytail to the side of my head. 

She looked back into the mirror and wiped her eyes, without glancing at me.

“What do you think?” I asked grabbing her waist.

She finally met my eyes by looking into the mirror. She let out that glorious laugh that made her smile ear to ear. I held her closer while I felt her body recoil in laughter against me.

After a few minutes she calmed down and turned around in the protective circle of my arms.

“You are always beautiful…always,” I told her softly.

“I love you so much,” Christen whispered leaning into kiss me.

“I love you too, no matter what your hair looks like.”

We held each other for awhile, and she fixed my ponytail back to its original location.

“Do you want to skip practicing today?” I asked eventually.

“No, I want to go. I do. I’m alright.”

“Ok, you’ve got ten minutes before I’m walking out the door,” I said with a smile.

“I’ll be ready.”

“You better,” I said backing away towards the door.

I turned around for a second, before looking back at her.

“You know that I’m joking. I’ll wait as long as you need,” I said needing her to know.

“Yes, I know Tobin,” she answered still emotional.

I gave her a smile and tapped the door frame before getting ready to leave her to finish.

“Wait,” she said suddenly. “Can I get another kiss?”

I closed the distance between us faster than I was expecting. She paused and put both of her hands on either side of my face. We both leaned in at the same time and felt our noses brush before our lips finally met. We kissed for another minute before separating. 

“You sure that I can’t do anything for you?” I asked.

“No, it just feels like it could be a special day.”

“I hope we will make the most of it.”

An Hour Later

“Ok so I thought we could do some passing drills today. What are you up for?” I asked her as we walked out onto Providence Park with a bag of soccer balls and cones.

“That’s a good idea, but first can we do our walk around the field, it would really help ground me before we practice?” She asked sitting down on the grass.

“Of course, good idea,” I answered sitting down next to her.

We both removed our cleats and socks so that we could feel the grass in-between our toes. Christen stood up first and extended her hand out to me. I took it and and pulled myself up to join her. She interlaced our hands and we started walking around the edge of the field.

“It’s always so hard not to reach for your hand when we do this after public practices,” Christen said giving my hand a squeeze.

“I know, story of my life. All I do is try not to touch you in public,” I said with a sigh. “That has been something that I have been incredibly grateful for during this time we’ve had together. No worrying, no second guessing, just us.”

“We have never spent this much time together, it’s really been amazing to focus so much time on our relationship. Let’s walk to the center of the field,” she said leading me to the center circle.

We continued to walk in silence. When she suddenly separated our hands to bring my arm around her shoulders instead. I smiled and pulled her body closer to mine. 

“Someone is feeling affectionate today,” I said kissing her hairline briefly as we came to a stop in the center circle of the field.

“This is just so special to be here in a place that has been so good to you, to us, and to be able to do this…” she trailed off leaning in to kiss me lightly. “…whenever I want is like a dream. I have cheered you on from the tunnel and from the player’s box, but to be right here on the field next to you is perfect. This pitch has become hallowed ground for you. I’ve seen you do unbelievable things on this field. This club has become a home for you…I mean us. You have a legacy here that will always exist, just like at UNC and with the National Team. You are one of the best players to have displayed your skills on this pitch. Portland is lucky to have you represent them, and I know that the people hear love you. Thinking about the thousands of fans cheering your name on game day makes me emotional,” she continued her voice breaking slightly.

“Chris it means everything to have you here with me,” I whispered pulling her into a hug.

“I still have more I want say,” she said pulling back after a few seconds.

“It’s not even my birthday yet, why are you-“

“Please,” she said placing her finger against my lips. “You will understand soon. I wanted to tell you all this here because this field has become another place that you come to worship. I know that you feel closer to God when you play, that by playing your hardest you get to show this wonderful ability that God has given you. Providence Park has become a Chapel for you Tobin, and during these uncertain times we seek refuge in our faith, and in our loved ones. Two weeks ago I came to a breaking point with all of this. I was angry that we couldn’t plan a wedding ceremony. I was confused at not knowing what was going to happen with the Olympics, with football, with seeing our family and friends. I was disappointed in myself for being selfish and not thinking more about the people who are first responders. After you calmed me down I realized that I have to focus on what I can control. Today is what I can control, today is what I made a plan for. I wanted us to come here today, today is special, today is about us and our love for each other,” Christen professed before pausing to check the time on her watch.

“I love you,” I responded in encouragement.

She let out a deep breath before taking both my hands in hers. The look in her eyes excited and worried me at the same time.

“Tobin Powell Heath I cannot spend one more day not being married to you.”

“I feel the same Chris, you know I do. I’ve been thinking that maybe-“

“We can. Today, right now. In your very own Chapel of football. Tobin if you will have me I want to become your wife today,” she said letting a few tears roll down her cheeks.

“Christen sweetheart of course I want to. I’ve started to think of ways that we could possibly make it happen-“

“Baby we can. We are. I wanted to surprise you. Any second now an officiant is going to walk through the tunnel and she is going to marry us. Today,” Christen said with an exhale of nervousness.   
“Really?” I chocked out in disbelief.

“Yes, yes, there she is,” Christen answered pointing behind me.

I turned and followed her finger to the tunnel where I saw a woman in all black walking out. I immediately whipped my head back around towards Christen and sank to my knees in front of her.

“I can’t believe this,” I whispered grabbing onto her legs.

She kneeled down to join me. She lifted my chin to make eye contact with her. I got even more emotional once I met her eyes.

“I know that this isn’t how we ever pictured it happening, but-“

I surged forward to kiss her. I held her face between my hands and felt her body release a wave a tension. I pressed another hard kiss against her soft lips.

“We’re about to get married,” I whispered with my mouth still inches from hers.

“Are you happy?”

“Yes, yes, yes, I love you, I’m in shock. I can’t believe you arranged this,” I answered wiping a tear from my eye.

She smiled at me and moved her hands to the sweatshirt that she was wearing. She pulled it over her head being mindful of her hair. As soon as she pulled it above her chest I knew what she was wearing. She was wearing my home Thorns jersey from the 2015 season. I bit my lip and reached out touch the sleeve of the jersey. I immediately stood up and brought her with me. I couldn’t stop myself from lifting her off the ground and spinning her around. She let out the sweetest laugh as I brought her bare feet gently back to the grass.

“I know it’s not a wedding dress, but somehow I like this more. This is a symbol of us. I fell in love with you the year you wore this jersey. That year you became my best friend, then you became just an unattainable dream, and by the end of the year I knew you would change the course of my life forever. Today I will officially become Christen Heath and this jersey represents our whole story,” she finished turning around so I could see the back of the jersey.

I focused my eyes on the number first. It wasn’t 17. It was 23, and my eyes slowly panned up to the name above the number: C. Heath. My fingers trembled as I traced the C.

“Christen,” I whispered overwhelmed.

She turned back towards me, and her hands grasped my forearms. 

“After we painted together I knew that I had to find a way to make this happen. When I was cleaning out our closet I went through the box of your old jerseys. I found this one and so many memories came flooding back to me. At the same time I imagined what it would be like to play with Heath on my back. I cried for an hour trying to process everything. The next day I asked the Thorns equipment manager to change the jersey for me. There is no looking back for us. This is our new beginning, together. Are you ready?” She asked glancing over my shoulder at the officiant on the sidelines behind me.

“Yes,” I said smiling moving in to kiss her again.

She stopped me with hand to my shoulder.

“Can we wait, until…”

“Yeah, of course…of course…”

“I have another surprise. We need at least one witness to sign the documents, so I invited someone that’s very special to us both…my dad.”

…To Be Continued

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for the comments on the last chapter. Please let me know what you think might happen in the next chapter.


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